Captain … It says, 'If you can read this, you are too close.'
By a margin of more than 34%, the clear winner in our caption contest, “Two ships passing in the … broad daylight?,” was the caption reminiscent of rear-view mirror warnings and Jurrasic Park movies, “Captain … It says, ‘If you can read this, you are too close.’”
Indeed, objects in this photo may be closer than they appear, to the great relief of anyone who has a terrible fear of optical illusions. For a full reporting of the results, just have a look in the poll below. The clever captioner who wins our Cruise Critic swag this time around is one William Nance, so William send us an email at feedback@cruisecritic.co.uk, and we’ll get your prize out to you pronto.
Very few cruise itineraries can claim an all-star list of ports. Somehow, there’s always one that doesn’t quite have the glamour or appeal of the rest. Maybe it’s a re-fuelling stop, or just the closest point, however unlovely, to somewhere more interesting.
Of course we don’t expect everywhere to be sanitised and Westernised and yes, you can always book a tour…but when you can’t even get off the ship and wander around without wading through filth or feeling threatened, the thought does arise: “And the point of this visit is?”
Here’s my list of the grim, the grotty, the pointless, the heavily industrial and the downright dangerous, all from personal experience. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so feel free to add your own.
Art is subjective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’ve heard them all, yet I couldn’t help giving the side-eye to some of the masterpieces on Celebrity Summit, one of four Millennium-class ships reputed for their pieces. From creepy beaded busts to aluminum alien stools, some of Summit’s unsettling artwork didn’t quite jive with the new warm, contemporary decor introduced in the January dry-dock.
Alistair Twilley is mad for dancing, as a cursory search on YouTube will show you. He’s a member of the entertainment staff onboard Celebrity Eclipse, and he’s made a habit of filming himself doing a little jig in ports from Cairo, where he danced in front of the Sphinx, to Thailand, where he danced underwater with tropical fish. We’ve got one of his videos here for you, and on second thought, to call what he’s doing ‘dancing’ is a bit of a stretch. The hopping, jogging in place and falling down that Alistair enjoys in ports all over the world is an odd but happy combination of the running man and the funky chicken … but the bottom line is, it’s contagious. Have a look, and tell us your favourite thing to do while in port.
The captain had always assumed being picked up by an alien vessel would involve a tractor beam.
Well, you’ve outdone yourselves again. With so many great responses to our ‘Caption Contest: Two ships passing in the broad … daylight?‘ we just can’t choose a winner. So, we’re asking you to do it. Use our poll to pick your favourite caption for the photo above, which shows Crystal Serenity‘s strangely disembodied captain’s bridge apparently hovering over Celebrity Century.
We’ll close the voting at midnight on Sunday, and announce our winner next week. And, of course if there’s a different caption that you like better, we do accept write-in candidates in our comments section. And thanks to everyone for participating!
Recently, we spent a week in one of Celebrity Summit‘s “Concierge-Class” balcony cabins. By configuration and design — bathroom, bed, sitting area, verandah — these accommodations bear a striking resemblance to their 100′s of slightly smaller standard balcony sisters.
So why did passengers on our seven-night Southern Caribbean cruise pay £100 more per person to stay in a C.C.C.?
Ah, love. Ain’t it grand? It certainly was for Jess McGarrity this Valentine’s Day, who went to Sydney Harbour with her long-time boyfriend Stefan Libon for what she thought was a visit from Stefan’s cousin.
In reality, Jess received a grand gesture of love from Stefan, with whom she has a child.
When you coop up to 4,000 people together in confined space, promote it as a ‘party cruise’ and let them all loose at the bar, is it asking for trouble? Low prices and cheap booze are certainly not a happy combination, as we saw last week, when 16 thugs were kicked off P&O Australia’s Pacific Dawn for brawling.
Judging by the response on P&O Australia’s Facebook page and on our own Cruise Critic forums, nobody has any sympathy for these hooligans. And of course nobody wants their cruise ruined by gang fights. Keep reading →
Getting lost in Venice is easy when you wander away from the tourist crowds.
An hour is a long time in politics. It can also be quite a bulky unit of time on a train or when cooped up in a meeting.
But hurrying, lost, through Venice’s maze-like streets, coming up against dead-ends, blocked off by opaque, green canals with a less than helpful map and a heavy bag and with under an hour before being due on a cruise ship or at the airport … well, then an hour can seem very, very short indeed.
Picture a nice, relaxing day on the beach: warm sun, white sand, ocean breezes … followed by a jarring all-out sprint down the pier to catch your ship, whose thousands of passengers have been not-so-patiently waiting for you. This video and all of its humiliation is a prime example of why it’s extremely important to wear a watch — and to make sure it’s running on the ship’s time. We’re betting that these two, amid a chorus of screams, jeers and, finally, applause, are wishing they had missed the boat completely. This video, from Carnival Liberty‘s December 3 sailing, appears courtesy of Cruise Critic member Jennifer Leslie.
–Ashley Kosciolek
What do you think? Tell us in the comments section below.
Find out more about cruising down under in our Australia & New Zealand Cruise Basics. 
