Decided to take a cruise from Miami to Havana. Havana was marvelous. Exotic, colorful, magical, musical, a tarnished jewel suspended in time. The Cubans were warm, helpful and welcoming. Food marvelous, cultural attractions plentiful and up to par with many American cultural museums and institutions. It was simply, beautiful. The short time in Havana wetted the appetite to return for a more in-depth experience in this fascinating country.

The Empress of the Seas was a completely different story. From the outset, everything seemed okay. The boarding process was a bit more chaotic than other cruise lines, but nothing that would set off alarms. Getting our luggage took some time, and instead of the bags being left in front of our stateroom, we had to wander around looking for them. No big deal. We mingled with other passengers on the top deck as we departed Miami, did some exploring of the ship, which is small, and is of the older variety, but is clean and we thought well maintained. First red flag was the safety drill. First, you were told NOT to bring your life vest. We gathered at our assigned area and that was the end of control. We could barely hear or understand the person speaking on the loudspeaker system. People were so confused they kept talking in numerous languages throughout the entire drill. At some point a man in front of us who was wearing a life vest, tied it and that was that. Folks literally did not know if the drill was over or if it was about to start. We returned to our cabin, to unpack and a short rest before dinner. We had been surprised to find out that there were no formal evenings on the ship, but none the less we dressed in casual attire for dinner. On this ship a linen shift with heels and open color shirt with Kakhi’s for my husband is over, over dressed. The Starlight Dining Room is massive, but tables have been pushed into every nook and cranny, so you are literally dining inches from other tables. The tables are so close you bump into those dining near you upon entering and leaving. We were given our table and greeted by our waiter Simplicio who was warm and friendly. We choses from a rather limited menu and expected to have the quality of cruise meals we have experienced in the past. We were dead wrong. My escargot was drowning in some sort of oily green/yellow slop. The strip steak we both ordered appeared to have been cooked in a convection oven, not grilled. Over it was a gloppy brown mess which was supposed to be gravy. I had three very sad looking pieces of potato and some carrots. Those carrots and potatoes were the best thing on the plate. The crème brulee I had for desert tasted like vanilla pudding over which sugar had been caramelized. Thinking it was the first night and things needed to settle down, we made no complaints and ate the misery in front of us. The second night we had a marvelous dinner in Havana, and the third night we splurged on board the ship eating at Chop’s Grill. These two restaurants are near one another but worlds apart when it comes to the food. We were going to opt out of dinner the fourth night but thought we should give them a second-chance. It was lobster night and Simplicio guided us on what appetizers and deserts to order. We were thrilled to enjoy everything. Having had such a good experience, we headed back to the Starlight for the fifth and final evening. Major mistake. First, we were not seated at our usual table, we didn’t even have the same waiter or assistant waiter. We had been looking forward to chatting with both of them on our final night. From here things took a decidedly downward turn. As bad as the food was on day one, this food was ten times worse. The Caesar salad was awash in dressing, and not good dressing. The fish we ordered was horrible, wet cardboard would have been an improvement. It was so bad, we got up and left the dining room. We were going to go back to Chop’s Grill but we had forked over enough money to eat something decent. Instead we headed to the Windjammer Buffet on the 10th deck where we went for breakfast and a quick lunch. To our shock we found very edible food and pleasant deserts, so did not have to go to bed hungry.

To add to the abysmal food, we had toilet problems. Starting day three our commode would not flush. We called maintenance and were impressed with the prompt response. After about an hour, things were once again running smoothly. For a while. The next morning, the same issue. Called again, prompt response, and correction. For a bit. On the last morning, our final act was to call maintenance and once again report a non-flushing commode. Read more